My look at this all...

I talked to a friend today who is really good about giving it to me straight. I told her about all the things my X said were my issues, and that I never support her or listen to her. Then I told my friend about all the times when things would happen and everything I did on my side.
Yes I admit I am a very confrontational asshole. But from everything I told her. I do not think I was at fault in all this. I think she just wanted me gone because she's a bitch that wants to do what ever she wants in life and sleep with any person she wants. And my friend totally agrees.
One incident was when she got her new job. We didn't have any money or food in the house. And the only thing she thought about was herself. Not me or the 3 kids. She took her credit card and went and rented a car for the week, so we went all week scrounging for what ever food we could. I kept my mouth shut, she said she needed it to get back and forth to work and get the kids to daycare. The next week comes, still no money or food. She has no car now either. So I asked a few friends if they would help her get to work, they said fine. She chewed me out for doing that. So she gets an emergency loan on the credit card and rents the car for another week! Remember no food in the house! I told her I could take the kids to daycare, she should use the money to get food instead. But no, once again I was dumb and wrong. I think this show how really selfish she really was.
So someone please tell me something... Why is it I feel like I'm the bad guy here, and this is all my fault? Why does it I hurt so bad? Why Must We Pay?!