BBQ...
Well I went to the bosses house last night for a BBQ. It was pretty fun, had a few drinks and played the social outcast like usual. Sat outside in the front along a lot and stared at the stars and moon. It was a pretty fun party, but one person can only have so much fun alone.
The boos is really cool people, he has done a lot for me since I have been here. He lets me use the jeep to go down to the cliffs and fish with his fishing gear. He's going to let me use his diving gear and stuff to go snorkeling in Kona area when I want to. And he said I can come and hang out at his Kava Bar in Kona and eat and stuff like that, and do some volunteer work there too if I want. Said it would be a really good place to meet some really cool people out there. So I might take him up on that offer and see what it's like. Kinda tired of hanging out alone all the time. I really love it here and all, but the loneliness really fucking suck at times. It really ain't doing a lot to help with my Depression getting treated the way I do by some of the people here, but I'm finding new ways to deal with it.
Well when Mr. X finally leaves maybe things will get better for me, I don't know. It seems like everyone follows his lead and does what he does. There is just to damn many followers here, and I ain't a follower, I'm a leader. Maybe that's what the biggest issue is. He might be afraid he won't be Alpha Male if he don't keep me on the outside. I don't know....
Well tomorrow we start harvesting the Kava root. Not sure what that's going to be like, but I am looking forward to it. Going to be a lot of work, but the end product will make it so worth it.
I still stay in touch with the wonderful woman in my life who lives in New Jersey. I would really like her to come out here, but I am pretty sure that will never happen, but one can hope right? Yah, it seems like hoping is all I really do. It never seems to get me no where though. But I am keeping a very open mind to everything right now. I am sure something will give soon, it's just the waiting part I don't like.
This is the owners Site where you can order Kava and Noni if you ever feel like it: Kanaka Kava
The boos is really cool people, he has done a lot for me since I have been here. He lets me use the jeep to go down to the cliffs and fish with his fishing gear. He's going to let me use his diving gear and stuff to go snorkeling in Kona area when I want to. And he said I can come and hang out at his Kava Bar in Kona and eat and stuff like that, and do some volunteer work there too if I want. Said it would be a really good place to meet some really cool people out there. So I might take him up on that offer and see what it's like. Kinda tired of hanging out alone all the time. I really love it here and all, but the loneliness really fucking suck at times. It really ain't doing a lot to help with my Depression getting treated the way I do by some of the people here, but I'm finding new ways to deal with it.
Well when Mr. X finally leaves maybe things will get better for me, I don't know. It seems like everyone follows his lead and does what he does. There is just to damn many followers here, and I ain't a follower, I'm a leader. Maybe that's what the biggest issue is. He might be afraid he won't be Alpha Male if he don't keep me on the outside. I don't know....
Well tomorrow we start harvesting the Kava root. Not sure what that's going to be like, but I am looking forward to it. Going to be a lot of work, but the end product will make it so worth it.
I still stay in touch with the wonderful woman in my life who lives in New Jersey. I would really like her to come out here, but I am pretty sure that will never happen, but one can hope right? Yah, it seems like hoping is all I really do. It never seems to get me no where though. But I am keeping a very open mind to everything right now. I am sure something will give soon, it's just the waiting part I don't like.
This is the owners Site where you can order Kava and Noni if you ever feel like it: Kanaka Kava
posted by Unknown at 12:06
2 Comments:
paul, dude, i don't know what's happened to ya, but you sound SO MUCH better now than you ever have! and i love it! your hope in life comes right thru in your blog, and it's SO nice to see! i knew it was down there somewhere. must be somethin' in the water in hawaii, huh?? ;-)
I think it's the nature hiking.... lol
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